Joseph C Feeley

A Celebration of the life of Joe Feeley

June 22, 1930 – October 9, 2013
 

Joseph Celestine Feeley was born in the West End of Cincinnati to Ruth V (nee Meehan) (1898-1968) and Joseph Patrick Feeley (1897-1947). His middle name was taken from a Nun who worked at the old St. Mary’s hospital where his Dad worked as a chauffeur for Nuns.

Joe was a second generation Irishman, with family from County Cork. He never visited Ireland, but he was often seen wearing a “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” shirt, even outside of St. Patrick’s Day. He had no choice but to root for the Fighting Irish.

Joe was the 3^rd child of Ruth and Joseph. His older sisters were Mary Teresa (1921-1985) and Elizabeth (1924-2006). His father was thrilled to have a son. However, they weren’t done, having 4 more children: Margaret, Donald, Kathleen (1936-2007) and Bob. The family spent a lot of time in Springfield and London Ohio visiting aunts and uncles and their many cousins. Joe played sports growing up – loving football more than others. His love of sports was certainly life long.

Catholicism was an important part of life for Joe – he attended St. Joseph grade school on Ezzard Charles Drive and later Our Lady of Grace and was so proud to have graduated in 1948 from St. Xavier when it was downtown. He served many masses and had a part in the St. John Passion Play. He often liked to chant out a little Latin – he thought of himself as half-priest. He was unable to go to communion after he re-married, but was so happy to once again be able to receive the sacrament in his late 50’s. He was a devout member of Sunday Mass at St. Martin of Tours for 45 years and spent the last 30 years or so as an Usher at the latest possible Mass on Sunday. He was never an early riser!

He was so proud of his cousin, Fr. Tom Schmidt, when he was ordained. He will watch down with pride from heaven when Fr. Tom celebrates his funeral Mass.

Joe loved music – any kind of Jazz, Johnny Mathis, the Four Freshman, Frank Sinatra, Doris Day, Rosemary Clooney and anyone of that era. There are still boxes of albums in his apartment – he still liked to pull them out and listen. No matter what the conversation or situation, he would have a line of song to go along with it – “we’re going downtown, doo doo doo doo do. Downtown…”.

He took up playing the marimba in high school, purchasing it and lessons on a layaway plan from his instructor. The marimba, a 4 octave Deagan, had a history – the instructor had played it on riverboats. It got mothballed for a long time, but was pulled out of storage and restored to use in the Feeley basement on McFadden. His son was amazed when he picked up the mallets – 2 in each hand – and started playing a number of oldies like Sentimental Journey. He loved for his grandkids to go down and bang on it a little bit. No matter how awful they played, he always complimented them as “naturals”.

When it was time to move out of the house, the marimba had to go. Nobody had an idea that it was worth quite a bit of money. When posted on Craigslist for $1,000, it immediately got a number of responses. The current owner is the head timpanist, Patrick Schleker, of the Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra. He promised to restore it and use it in concerts. If you see the CSO playing and a marimba on the stage, you’ll know there’s a piece of Joe Feeley in the music.

While looking very closely at the instrument, Patrick was examining very closely and found some expected warpage from being in a wet basement and knew it needed some tuning. The Deagan factory is famous for making good music, but is no longer in business. He’d need to take it to one of the two remaining expert tuners – this one in Chicago. Knowing that it would cost some money, Joe’s son was expecting to knock some money off the final price. A final price was decided of $900 – Patrick wanting to make sure he didn’t pay an unfair price. After that, Joe dropped his head and shed a couple of tears. His son told him he didn’t have to sell it if he didn’t want, but Joe knew it was going to do great things with the CSO. Patrick now felt so bad he paid the full $1,000. Great negotiation by Joe!

Joe was dealt a hard blow in life when his Dad died in 1947, when Dad was 17 years old. He often told the story of how his Dad went into the hospital with a kidney problem which he didn’t think was a big deal and died a short time later. He had to be the man of the house after that. That house was on Claypole Avenue (going there was referred to as going “up the house”) – it was the epicenter of the Feeley family for 50+ years.

He worked some odd jobs after high school and joined the Army reserves. He was then called to Active Duty to serve as an MP in the Korean War. He was very proud to have served in the war. The highlight of his service was being part of a prisoner of war exchange with the North Koreans. He liked to spout off the occasional Korean phrase, although nobody knows if they were remotely close to accurate pronounced or even real Korean words. He always felt slighted by the lack of attention for the veterans of Korea. You could often find him in his Korean War jacket and hat. He LOVED every comment made to him thanking him for his service. At a restaurant in June, a random stranger even bought his dinner for him for having served his Country. He swelled with pride telling that story. Thanks, random stranger, for making a veteran feel deep pride.

One favorite story was that Joe sent all of his extra money home after each paycheck – sending to his Mother so he would have a nice bank account when he returned home. When he returned home and asked his Mom where his money was, she said she spent it all. She had bought herself a nice new car with it.

Joe continued in the reserves after returning home, receiving an Honorable Discharge in 1956 as a Specialist 4.

Joe was so fortunate to go on the Honor Flight to Washington DC with his son Joe in November of 2012. It was truly a special day for Joe and a day that his son will cherish for the rest of his life –one that touched him to his core. Honor Flight takes WWII and Korean veterans on a flight (for free) to Washington DC to visit the memorials for WWII, Korea, Iwo Jima, Vietnam and to Arlington Cemetery. That was all great, but the part that brings tears to the everyone’s eyes is the way the veterans are treated on arrival in Washington and back in Cincinnati. On arrival, they were greeted by a big band and received a hero’s welcome by hundreds of people, all clapping loudly and shaking the veterans’ hands. When returning to Cincinnati after a very long day, another hero’s welcome greeted the men and women – flags were waving and the local media was there to interview the veterans.

After the service, Joe married Mary A. Rahn on Thanksgiving Day, 1953. Soon after they had three children: Debbie (1954), Patti (1956) and Mike (1957). Unfortunately they divorced in March, 1959.  Joe could be found taking his kids to Coney Island, Reds games at Crosley Field, and sitting on the sidelines at Delhi fields while he coached his sports teams.  One of their favorite memories is sitting in the first row at St Louis’ church downtown while Joe was serving Mass.  They were very young and not well behaved!!!  They giggled and wiggled, sat on the kneelers, climbed under the seats, all the while receiving death looks from their Dad.  A woman behind us grabbed us and made us stop!  We also spent holidays together at Grandma Feeley’s, where all the aunts and uncles and cousins came to eat, drink, and be merry!!  Teenage years were tough for them, but that is pretty normal!!  They emerged on the other side, married and gave him lots of grandkids and great grandkids.  They will miss the dry Irish wit that they all inherited from him.

Joe worked pretty much everywhere in Cincinnati. He worked for Kett Tool before joining the Army. After the Army, he often rode with the police on runs during the civil unrest of the 1960’s. He worked for Otis Elevator, took care of grounds for St. Joseph Cemetery.  If you asked him where he worked in life, he would tell you the General Motors Plant in Norwood. He worked and did about everything on the assembly line for 15 years until the plant closed in 1987. He enjoyed everything about working there, even as he worked 2^nd and 3^rd shift hours which took him away from his family. He managed to work his shifts so he could coach baseball and football. He loved the UAW picnics at Lesourdesville/Americana. He coached the softball team – anyone remember his “Sheet Metal II” jersey he wore for years? When he saw coworkers from GM, he hugged them. He was devastated when the plant was closed and he was forced into retirement. He was never a fan of foreign cars – beware the child who bought a Japanese car. You were going to get an earful!

He was so excited to bring a fresh off the line Camaro Z28 convertible to drive Cathy Ruehlman around town on her wedding. Unfortunately, he didn’t consider the fact that a woman doesn’t want her hair and veil blown around on her wedding day.

While at GM, there were occasional layoffs and Joe quickly started doing some side jobs while collecting unemployment. He painted a lot – interior and exterior of houses. He liked to bring along his youngest son and torture him with tasks like taping off baseboards or scraping paint off of windows. He managed to get more paint on the window that he did on the window trim. However, he paid his help pretty well, even if he was only 10 years old. He liked to torture Joey and his “extra son” by taking them to every chicken dinner in every remote corner of Indiana he could find. They also got to do things like go see jazz concerts – Maynard Ferguson was one and work on painting the awnings at the house.

Joe didn’t stop working after GM closed. He had a second career, working 9 years at the Hamilton County Clerk of Courts in the Auto Title department. It was a great place for him to work – he knew everybody and how things worked both in Auto Titles and at the courthouse. He knew how to get things done and joked with everybody on both sides of the street. He retired from there in 1998.

He was often found helping out Bob Klug in various businesses: Bob Klug’s restaurant in Cheviot, Pepperidge Farm bread truck route and Tummy Treats ice cream shop. After his last retirement, he drove Gloria crazy – he couldn’t sit around the house and watch stories – he wanted to do something. So, he went back to work, helping Bob run the Westside Liquor Store on Glenway. He liked being in charge of various tasks like inventory or stocking shelves. He often told stories of Fr. McCarthy coming in for a bottle of whiskey because the one from the week before must have spilled out. He also liked to talk about housewives coming by every day and buying vodka because it didn’t smell on their breath.

Joe was first and foremost a hard worker. He lived the American ideal of putting in an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay. Workers who took advantage of the union to keep from getting fired upset him to the core – it’s the reason he felt GM had to close. Anyone who had a business would want Joe to be their employee. Honesty, integrity and hard work were not a choice, they were ingrained into his fiber.

Joe found a passion for coaching. Friend Bob Marchioni invited him to help out the Delhi Eagles coaching football. Joe coached the Pony team to multiple championships. He also coached baseball, proudly coaching the “kids nobody else wanted” and turning them into winners. Joe coached St. Martin baseball and football when his son Joe was old enough to play.

There isn’t enough room to write all the impact Joe had on these kids’ lives. So many kids came up to him and thanked him for being “the best coach they’ve ever had”. This includes kids who played high school and college. He ran a tight ship with discipline and no nonsense, but he did it the right way to earn respect from adults and kids alike. Before the mandatory playing time came in vogue like it is today, he coached that way, even in the 60’s and 70’s with 36 kids on a team. Bill Hood continued to be a friend to Joe right until the very end – coming to visit and taking him to various doctor’s appointments. Bill said Joe had such an impact on his life as a youngster that he owed him forever. Bobby Sagers was coached in Delhi football by Joe and always went out of his way when he was refereeing to ask how he was doing. If Joe was in the stands, Bob spent more time talking to Joe than actually refereeing the games!

After Woody Hayes punched the Clemson player back in 1978, Robert Masminster, one his favorite players of all time, gave him the nickname Woody because he would sometimes get so mad on the sideline that everyone thought he was going to whack someone (of course, he never came close to that). Some of those kids still call him Woody today.

He loved kids sports until the end of his life, attending St. Ignatius Wildcat basketball, football and baseball games for his grandchildren. These last few months, he even came up to watch practice. Nothing made him prouder than to see his guys out on the field or on the court. A really special moment happened on his 83^rd and final birthday. He came to Liam’s game at St. Ignatius field. After the game, a victory in which Liam did really well, the kids all came out and sang Happy Birthday to him (and there wasn’t a dry eye in the place). Liam got the game ball and gave it to his Grandpa to keep. Joe brought the ball to the next game and got all of the kids to autograph it and he bought a ball trophy stand to display it in his house.

Joe picked up playing racquetball in his mid-late 40’s and spent many hours at the Gamble Nippert YMCA playing and beating much younger, more fit men. Gloria and Joey would have to interrupt dinner while Joe was at work to call the Y right at 6:00pm to reserve a court 2 days in advance at 9am or whenever he wanted to play. Joe was artful in body positioning to make sure he almost got in the way to shield off a player from getting the ball, then ticking them off by asking if he was in the way. If they said yes, he would get mad and say he wasn’t. He excelled at the corner and sideline hugging kill shots. To get beat by him was maddening, but happened often.

He loved working out, even if sometimes it was more in concept that reality. At Renaissance West, he was still working out until a couple of months ago, even through radiation and chemotherapy!

Joe loved his local sports teams. He will really be able to rest in peace since Dusty Baker was fired – he was very happy when that announcement came through. He had Bengals season tickets with Bob Marchioni, Don Poehner, and finally with his son Joe, his brother Don and lifetime friend Fr. Harry Gerdes. The last few years at Paul Brown stadium were a blast – early morning tailgating right next to the stadium with whomever came by. He finally had to give it up when he needed to have a hip replacement 3 years ago. The Bengals lean years before that made it an easier transition.

If you called or stopped by the house in the summer, you know the Reds game would always be on (usually at a volume loud enough to hear 2-3 miles away). Gloria always had a crush on the best looking player on the team – from Bo Diaz to Aaron Boone to Joey Votto. Dad always pretended that he didn’t like that player and they’d have a running feud going about it. He would root against that player even as he rooted for the team. If the game wasn’t on TV, he’d be sitting on the front porch swing with a radio, listening and shouting out hellos to the neighbors.

On Saturday, February 26, 1966, Joe had his first date with the love of his life, Gloria Mae Siebert. They were married in early 1969 to make a Cincinnati Brady Bunch. Joe added Barb, Peter, Linda and Cathy to his family. While the kids were stepchildren, he often said the “only steps in this house go to the basement or the 2^nd floor”.

Gloria and Joe welcomed their only child together, Joseph Patrick Feeley, on October 5, 1969 at age 39. Gloria absolutely refused to allow Celestine as a middle name, so their son was always “Joey” or “Little Joe”. As Joey got older and renamed himself Joe, big Joe liked to answer the phone and when someone asked for Joe, would say “this is him”. Needless to say, this didn’t please a teenager too much. This made them both young again – raising a new child brought them close and gave them a 2^nd go around on things like Cub Scouts, sports, teacher conferences, etc.

Joe was extremely proud of all of his children, no matter how big or small the accomplishment. He HATED when someone would move even to the other side of town (“why would you want to live all the way over there”) much less if they moved out of state. Vacations were almost always to go visit an out of town child, not to go to an unknown destination. He didn’t get to every event, but he would have liked to.

After the kids were out of the house, Glo and Joe found themselves enjoying going on cruises – taking several of them through the years. Mostly, they spent time with each other and their very extensive family. More on that later.

When Gloria’s health began to fail, Joe spent every waking moment taking care of what she needed. He became a full time caregiver. If she had to go to the hospital, he didn’t leave her side, even at the expense of not taking his own medicine and winding up in the hospital in the room across the hall! When she died on February 13^th, 2013, he was lost without her. He missed her so much. Any mention of her brought a few tears from him. He wore her wedding ring on a Mr. T looking chain around his neck until he died. His love for her ran so deep, it hurt him physically for her to be gone. All can rejoice that he is reunited with her now in heaven!

Joe’s truest calling in life was as a Grandfather. While he was a tough football coach in his middle ages, he became a big softie in his grandfather years. There was nothing he was excited for more than a new grandchild or great grandchild. His greatest skill was putting a baby to sleep, likely because he would fall asleep too while holding them. It’s really amazing he never dropped a baby on the ground, but he managed to keep his hands on them

Side note: he inherited the Feeley “fall asleep anywhere anytime” gene. It wasn’t unusual to see him and his sisters all sitting around in chairs with mouths wide open, sound asleep.

Joe couldn’t spend enough time with his grandchildren and great grandchildren – plays, school events, sports, graduations, weddings, First Communions - no matter what the event, he wanted to be there. He took pride in whatever they did and never had anything but praise, no matter how well or poorly they might have done. After Gloria passed away, this is really what kept him going.

He kept his love of babies to the end. He always got a kick out of talking to a random baby in a store or restaurant. There were countless times where he would go up to total strangers and make some remark about how cute their child was, or to say how curly their hair was or some other comment that brought a smile to baby and parents alike.

In his younger days, he had a trick he used on any child he could find – he would have them shake his hand and tell them to let go while he continued to hold on tight. He’d hold on until they were just about ready to go a little crazy. He also had a series of different handshakes with the Frimming grandchildren. It would take them a few minutes to say hello and goodbye.

Joe’s lasting legacy is the number of people who he knew and who loved him. It was almost impossible to go ANYWHERE where Joe wouldn’t know at least one person. He might not always remember their name, but always remembered their face. It could be someone he coached 40 years ago, someone from GM or someone he grew up with at Our Lady of Grace.

During his final hours, it was amazing to see staff members who only knew him a few months at Renaissance West come in to say their goodbyes – all with tears in their eyes. He was so lucky to have moved to Renaissance West. The staff there was so good to him and he quickly made so many friends there. He had running jokes kidding the Elder guys and teasing the nurses and aides. Everyone was happy to see him and was shocked when he declined so quickly.

He had so many friends, but there were quite a few who were friends for life – Fr. Harry Gerdes, Bob Marchioni and Bob Klug to name just a few. He had an amazing connection even with folks 20-30 younger than him – the Masminsters and the Tedescos are a couple of them. He and Gloria even made friends with the parents of his grandchildren’s friends at St. Ignatius. As he came to games this year, they would often check to see how he was doing and sit and talk with him. He was visited by one of them, the Klumps, 2 days before he died.

His sense of humor was as dry as the desert. He loved to laugh, but you usually couldn’t tell it from his expression. If you didn’t know how to take him, you might have thought him crazy, but once you knew he was joking, it was the core of his charm. He joked about anything and everything.

We wish you a fond farewell, Joseph Celestine Feeley. You were a great man who touched so many people’s lives and your spirit will live on in your children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. We hope there are things you truly love in heaven: peanut butter, football, baseball, Jazz, Indiana chicken dinners, comfortable chairs for naps and babies who need to take naps on your shoulder. Mostly, you’ll bask in the love of your family and your dear, sweet wife, Gloria.

Rest in Peace, Joe. The world is now a lesser place without you. We will love you always.

Visitation will be held from 5:30-8:30 PM on Saturday, October 12 at Dalbert, Woodruff & Isenogle Funeral Home, 2880 Boudinot Ave., Cincinnati, Ohio 45238. A 2^nd Visitation will be held on Monday, October 15 at St. Martin of Tours Church at 3720 St. Martin Place, Cincinnati Ohio 45211 from 10:00-11:00AM with a Mass of Christian Burial following.

Memorials may be made in Joe’s name to St. Martin of Tours Church at 3720 St. Martin Place, Cincinnati Ohio 45211 or to Honor Flight Tri-State at http://www.honorflighttristate.org/